Just Another Lonely Knight
by Finduilas88
Summary: An unlikely romance between Baldur's Gate NPCs. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_For reasons still not entirely clear to me, I was recently inspired to write this, a romance for what I consider to be a pretty unlikely NPC couple: Jaheira and CN Anomen_

_Standard disclaimers apply; I invented Danira, the Bhaalspawn in this story. All the other characters are owned and operated by Bioware, except for Kelsey the sorcerer, who is the invention of Jason Compton. _

_Comments are, of course, welcome._

Chapter 1

Jaheira watched the dancers spinning across the dance floor and wished she could join in the merriment. The spires of Suldanesselar were lovely, and with the defeat of Irenicus there was much to celebrate, but somehow, she could not bring herself to join the celebration. _Ah, Khalid, how you would have loved it here._

Still, it was nice to see the others enjoying themselves. Danira and Kelsey had been dancing non-stop for at least at hour, and Minsc was twirling Imoen around in a way that looked positively life threatening for the other dancers. But she was growing tired of fending off prospective dance partners and was considering retreating to her room when Anomen approached her.

"Lady Jaheira!" Anomen cried, obviously in high good spirits. "I see you are the only one of our group left unpartnered, would you care to try the dance floor with me?"

"Some flatterer you are, to admit that you only asked me because there was no one else to ask!" Jaheira retorted.

The barb failed to puncture his good mood. He dropped to one knee in front of her chair and clasped her hand. "You wound me, Jaheira, to suggest that I meant to insult one as fair as you! I entreat you, forgive my clumsy tongue and say you will dance with me!" Anomen cried, kissing her hand with a dramatic flourish.

Amused in spite of herself, she rolled her eyes and said, "All right, Anomen, one dance, _if_ you promise not to do that again."

Anomen grinned and led her into the fray. It was a fast, whirling dance, and soon they lost themselves in the twisting pattern of dancers. And although no human could hope to match the grace of the elves that danced around them, Anomen was surprisingly nimble for such a large man. Despite her melancholy mood, Jaheira found herself thoroughly enjoying the experience.

When the music ended and they stopped to catch their breath. Anomen turned to her, his eyes alight. "Jaheira, that was splendid! Oh, surely, you have time for one more!" He must have seen the hesitation in her eyes, for he added with an impish smile, "Unless you'd like me to kiss your hand again."

"I don't know what's gotten into you tonight, Anomen, but I suppose one more wouldn't hurt." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "The things I do for the group!"

"Your sacrifice is noted, my lady." Anomen chuckled, as he led her back to the floor. This time, it was a slower, more stately dance and Jaheira could see that the couples around them were quick to take advantage of the situation. Certainly, Danira and Kelsey wasted no time pulling each other close. Jaheira's own dance began sedately enough, but as they danced on, she became increasingly—and disturbingly—aware of the feel of Anomen's body against hers.

Anomen pulled her closer to speak to her, his breath warm on her cheek. "You are a superb dancer, Jaheira. Thank you for agreeing to dance with me again." He did not release her and she did not protest, luxuriating in the warmth of his embrace. _Gods, I haven't had a man hold me this way since Khalid died! I suppose it won't hurt to enjoy it for a little while._

She relaxed against Anomen's broad chest, his heartbeat surprisingly rapid under the soft fabric of his tunic. Unbidden, her mind turned to thoughts of what it would be like to be kissed again, and touched again, and feel her own heart quicken in response to a lover's caress.

When the song finally ended and Anomen released her, the spell was broken. Aghast at what had happened, she felt she must get away as quickly as possible. _Silvanus knows what foolish thing I might do if I stayed! _She murmured an apology to a surprised Anomen and dashed off the dance floor, planning to flee to her room. Unfortunately, she had forgotten that the dance floor was raised slightly, and she stumbled on the unexpected step down. Only a quick grab from Anomen saved Jaheira from a nasty fall, but he could not save her from a painfully sprained ankle.

"Jaheira! Are you all right, my lady? By Helm, I see that you are not! Please, sit down so I can tend your ankle."

"That will not be necessary, I can heal it myself when I return to my room." Pulling herself free from Anomen's grip, Jaheira began to hobble slowly toward the door.

Anomen, not encumbered by a sprained ankle, was easily able to outpace her and interpose himself between Jaheira and the door. "Jaheira, please. It is clearly very painful for you walk on it, and you know as well as I do that you might cause further injury if you do so." He gently but firmly guided her to a nearby chair.

"All right, if you insist." Jaheira replied, rather ungraciously.

"I do. It is the least I can do, since I feel I am partially responsible." He eased the slipper off her foot and began to examine the injured ankle. Her ankle was already swollen, but his hands were gentle and his touch light. "Though I must admit it has been some time since a woman has fled my presence quite so precipitously." He glanced up a Jaheira, hoping for some sort of reaction. She did not respond.

"Well, it's just a superficial sprain. Painful, no doubt, but there seems to be no underlying damage to concern us." He placed his hands on her ankle, closed his eyes, and sent a brief entreaty to Helm. A silver glow surrounded his hands and the injured ankle, and the swelling disappeared. "As good as new, my lady, though I would be careful not to put too much stress on it for the next few days."

"I believe I do know how to care for an injured ankle, Anomen. Thank you for your assistance. Good night." Jaheira replied haughtily before sweeping out of the room on her newly healed ankle, leaving behind a very puzzled Anomen.

* * *

A half hour later, finishing his last drink of the evening, Anomen was still puzzled and becoming increasingly irritated. Try as he might, he could think of nothing he had said or done that would explain her behavior. She had given every indication that she was enjoying herself until she had suddenly and inexplicably decided to leave, or more rightly, run away after their second dance. While it was true that they had never been friends; indeed, she had regarded him with barely concealed contempt when he first joined the group, he felt that more recently they had achieved at least some level of mutual tolerance and respect. What had happened to make her react that way? 

Anomen took the last swallow of his drink and set the glass down on the table. He had come to a decision. "I will ask her."

* * *

Danira returned to the table and found a comfortable spot on Kelsey's lap. She noticed they were alone. "Oh, I see Anomen's gone. Did he go up to his room?" 

"I'm not sure, honey. He definitely had something on his mind, and when he got up to leave he said something about 'facing a wounded lioness'."

"That's odd. Do you know what he was talking about?"

"Not a clue. I think it's one of those things that is destined to forever remain a mystery." Kelsey laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Kendris: Thanks for the comments! I'm glad you find my Jaheira dialogue to be realistic; I have been making a deliberate effort in that direction. This chapter was particularly challenging in that regard since she's in a situation that doesn't happen in the game. As for 'my' Anomen, I forgot to mention in my reply to Domi that some of CN Anomen's response lines are in fact a lot more light-hearted that LG Anomen's. They seem rather forced, and I agree that the CN Anomen in the game is essentially an unhappy guy, but at the least the game writers felt he had the potential to be light-hearted. Thanks so much for the suggestion about giving some background on Anomen's change--look for it in an upcoming chapter. Lastly, Imoen and Minsc are Just Good Friends in this story. _

_Please note: this chapter includes sexual situations, so anyone who is offended by such things should probably skip it. I don't think Anomen haters will like it much, either. ;-)_

Chapter 2

Jaheira was in her room, still awake, still dressed, and pacing in agitation, trying to make sense out of the night's events. Intellectually, she knew there was nothing wrong with feeling desire for another man, but it _felt_ wrong. And Anomen, of all people! She didn't even like the man very much, and had certainly had never thought of him _that_ way before. And why now, of all times, when she was feeling Khalid's loss so keenly? She told herself that it must have been pure happenstance that she had reacted to Anomen as she did; after all, it had been a long time since any man had held her in that way.

There was a knock on the door, followed by a voice. "Jaheira, it's Anomen, I know it's late, but could I please speak to you?"

_Oh Gods, I do not need this!_ Hoping to get rid of him quickly, Jaheira replied, "Anomen, I am getting ready for bed. We can talk in the morning."

"Please, Jaheira, it will take just a few moments. I fear I will not rest easily tonight unless I speak to you."

Concerned that it might attract unwanted attention if she left Anomen waiting in the hall, she reluctantly let him in.

"Thank you, milady. I promise I will not take too much of your time. How is your ankle, by the way? Perhaps I should examine it again to ensure it is completely healed."

"I'm sure it's fine, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt." All things considered, Jaheira felt that her ankle was a relatively safe topic of conversation, so she sat on the end of the bed and presented her ankle for inspection. She soon regretted her decision, for with pain gone, there was nothing to distract her from the feel of Anomen's hands touching her as he manipulated the joint and ran his hands along her calf checking for further injury.

He looked up at her and smiled. "As good as new, as I had hoped."

Jaheira was now certain that she needed to get Anomen out of her room as quickly as possible. "Thank you. I am glad you were able to ease your mind on that point. Now, since it's getting late…"

Anomen looked slightly embarrassed, but was clearly determined not to give up so easily. "Actually Jaheira, though I was happy for a chance to inspect your injury again, that is not the reason I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"Ever since you left the party, I have been pondering why you should have left in such a hurry, but I confess that I am no closer to an answer than I was at the start. It seemed that you were enjoying yourself, and I was certainly enjoying dancing with you. Did I do something to offend you? If so, I wish you would tell me what it was so I can make amends."

Jaheira considered denying that anything had upset her, but knew he would almost certainly not believe her; the change in her behavior was too sudden to be spontaneous. She decided a little bit of the truth would do no harm. "No Anomen, you did nothing to offend me. You were a perfect gentleman."

A look passed over Anomen's face, but it was gone too quickly for her to identify. "I doubt I have ever been a 'perfect' gentlemen, but thank you, my lady, that sets my mind at ease. But if it was not my actions, did another offend you? These elves do not seem the type to try to take advantage of a lady, but if any have behaved inappropriately, I will do what I can to ensure that it doesn't happen again."

"Anomen, no one has offended me." Exasperated by his persistence, she added testily. "Why do you care so much, anyway?"

"A fair question, I suppose." Anomen answered. "Although our relationship was rather, umm…rocky, at the beginning, lately I get the impression that you don't feel that I am quite as worthless and unreliable as you once did." He gave Jaheira a wry smile, and she reddened in response. "Given this hopeful sign, I thought there was a chance we could become friends. With the life we lead, I have not had the opportunity to make many friends, but I would be honored to number you among them. I noticed that you seemed very melancholy at the party and I was pleased when the dancing seemed to lighten your mood. That is why I why was so taken aback when you left so suddenly."

Surprised by his candor, she felt an unexpected pang of sympathy for him. He deserved some sort of explanation for her actions. She sat down on the bed heavily and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Anomen, it wasn't you, it wasn't anyone else, it was me. It…it has been exactly six months since Khalid died, and his loss still weighs heavily on me, it some ways more so now that our quest is complete. I still miss him." To her dismay, the rigid control she had exerted over her emotions for most of the evening finally gave way and she began crying.

"My lady, I am sorry; thoughtless lout that I am, I never considered that your grief for your husband might be troubling you. I know only too well how some losses are hard to set aside." He sat down next to her on the bed and gently put his arm around her shoulders.

Her reaction was immediate. She got up from the bed and away from his touch as if scalded, tears still streaming down her face. "Anomen, I did not give you leave to touch me, pray do not do so again!" She said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Anomen's face flushed. "By the gods, Jaheira, what is the matter? I only meant to comfort you in your grief!" He got up and faced her, anger and concern warring in his eyes. "Surely you don't think I was trying to take advantage of you!"

Jaheira felt the situation spinning out of control; she found his continuing concern for her far more disconcerting than his anger. _Damn him! Why doesn't he get angry enough to leave me alone!_ In truth, she longed to take the comfort he offered—and more—but feared she would be betraying Khalid if she did. "I know you didn't mean anything by it…" She began, and then her words faltered. She knew that any attempt at further explanation would just confuse the situation.

"What _is_ it then, Jaheira?" Anomen asked plaintively. He reached to touch her, then stopped himself and dropped his hand in frustration.

Jaheira's anger drained away at the sight of his distress. It was obvious that he sincerely wanted to help, but was at a loss to understand why she was so upset or what he could do to assist her. Then, finally, the clamorous voices of fear, guilt, and need that had been at war within her since Anomen entered her room fell silent, and she knew what she wanted.

Jaheira reached out and touched his arm in a conciliatory gesture. "I sorry, Anomen, there was no reason for me to act like that, I know you were just trying to help. You must think me mad, behaving as I have been, but this has been a very…difficult night for me." To her embarrassment, she began to cry again.

Anomen gave her a wry smile. "I don't pretend to understand all of what troubles you, Jaheira, but I should be the last person to criticize you for behaving irrationally in your grief." Still a little wary after her previous outburst, Anomen cautiously put his arms around her. When she did not protest, he pulled her close. "Please don't cry, my lady."

Jaheira felt herself relaxing in the circle of his arms. She also felt, as she knew she would, desire rising within her, much stronger this time than when they were dancing earlier. _Khalid is gone and I need this tonight; surely he would not begrudge me this. What is so wrong with wanting to feel this way again for just one night? _Anomen, thankful that she had stopped crying, pulled away slightly, worry still obvious in his blue eyes.

"My lady…" he began.

_Nothing, surely._ She reached up put her arms around his neck, twining her fingers in his thick hair. "Anomen…' She murmured softly, pulling him down toward her until their lips met. It was not the chaste kiss of friendship, but rather the kind of kiss a woman gives a man she desires. Though startled by this unexpected development, after a moment's hesitation Anomen responded in kind, kissing her deeply as he drew her tightly against his chest. Jaheira's heart quickened, both thrilled and a little frightened by the strength of his response.

When Anomen released her a few moments later, he laughed shakily. "Jaheira, if this is a test of my virtue and self-control, I confess I will fail most miserably. You cannot kiss me like that and expect me to restrain myself."

She laid her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, her need intensifying as she felt his body move against hers. "So you desire me, then?"

"I may have sought only friendship, my lady, but I am not blind to the fact that you are a beautiful and very desirable woman. Of course I desire you," he said hoarsely." Anomen bent near her face, and when she turned to him eagerly, he kissed her again, his hands caressing her back and neck.

Jaheira broke away a few moments later, and embraced him again with a soft sigh of desire. "Anomen…" she began. Despite her earlier resolve, Jaheira felt a little shy about stating her wishes openly, and fought to keep her nervousness out of her voice. "Stay with me tonight."

His body stilled under her hands, and he gently tipped her chin up so he could see her face. "You want me to stay with you? Lie with you?"

She found herself breathing rapidly as she met his dark eyes. She saw no rejection in his gaze, only desire and a little uncertainty. "Yes, Anomen, I do"

"By the gods, you are full of surprises tonight, Jaheira!" He ran his hand through his hair, in what was obviously a nervous gesture. "I do not wish to seem ungrateful, believe me, I am not." Anomen said earnestly. "If you truly wish me to lie with you tonight, I am most willing to do so. But I must ask, why me? And why tonight?"

Jaheira looked away, not sure she could maintain her composure. "When we danced tonight, when you were holding me, I felt something. For the first time since Khalid died, I felt the desire of a woman for a man and it scared me. That was why I ran away."

"Then when you came here, I realized that tonight I need this; I need someone to hold me, and touch me, and help me feel whole again. I need you tonight, if you're willing."

"For tonight." Anomen stated. It was not a question.

"I'm sorry, but I will not, I…I _cannot_ offer you more. Not now. Please try to understand."

"I do understand, my lady. I am willing to accept what you're offering." He kissed her hand and smiled.

"But I hope you can understand why I find your invitation very surprising, to say the least. I am reminded of that old tale where the fair maid allows the evil wizard to seduce her, giving her an opportunity to plunge a knife in his ribs during an, ah, intimate moment, releasing her family from the wizard's curse."

Jaheira chuckled. "No knives, I promise."

"I shall examine you most carefully, to be sure." He said, his eyes alight. He pulled her close and murmured in her ear "Shall I begin now?"

"Yes." She whispered, before losing herself in the warm promise of his eyes and the feel of his lips on her skin. After a time, he took her hand, led her to the bed, and gently pulled her down next to him. When he held her and kissed her, Jaheira returned the kisses in full measure.

She slid her hands up under his tunic, marveling at the feel of the taut muscles of his chest. Anomen took a moment to pull the tunic over his head before taking her in his arms again. Though she felt she should not, she found herself comparing Anomen's body to Khalid's. Like most elves, Khalid's body had been lean, elegant, and almost hairless. In contrast, Anomen had broad shoulders, with heavily muscled chest and arms and a mat of dark hair on his chest. She murmured, "So big…and the hair!" not realizing she had spoken aloud until she saw the amused look on Anomen's face. She reddened.

He laughed. "Ah, my lady, I fear there is little I can do about either at present. My size is beyond my control, but if I had known I would be keeping company with such a discriminating lady tonight, I suppose I could have done something about the hair." His expression darkened with uncertainty. "I hope you don't find me too unappealing, Jaheira."

"Don't be ridiculous, Anomen, there's nothing wrong with the way you look!" She answered. "It's just…_different_ from what I'm accustomed to. It's very appealing, in it's own way." Rather to her own surprise, she realized that she was telling the truth. His powerful body had an elegance all its own, one that she found very desirable.

"Good, because I find you very appealing in all ways." He kissed her again, slowly and deliberately, and caressing her skin until she was almost breathless with desire. He reached for the ties of her bodice. "I believe it is time to do something about _your_ clothes, my lady."

Later, they joined and moved as one in shared passion, and Jaheira called his name as she clung to him. It was his name on her lips when she finally found the release that she had sought.

* * *

Jaheira lay in Anomen's arms and considered the puzzle that was Anomen Delryn, Priest of Helm and former squire of the Order of the Most Radiant Heart. She had always thought of him as a simple man, simple and arrogant, and had vehemently disagreed with Danira's decision to let him stay in the party after he was expelled from the Order. Although she had ultimately chosen Kelsey, Dani had confided to her that she found Anomen attractive, which at the time Jaheira had dismissed as youthful romanticism. Now she was beginning to see why Dani had insisted there was more to him than met the eye. 

For all his brashness, Anomen was a gentle and unselfish lover, and his at times brittle humor did not entirely conceal some surprising vulnerabilities. But what had impressed her most this night was how earnestly he had tried to comfort her when she needed it, with no other motive than a wish to help a friend.

She was startled out of her thoughts by Anomen's voice. "Jaheira, was I mistaken, or did you call my name earlier when we were…intimate?"

"Why should that be so surprising? Do you think I was so lost to reason that I did not know what man I was with? I couldn't possibly mistake you for Khalid. You are too different."

"'Different' again? I must confess I am getting increasingly curious about exactly what these 'differences' are, but I know better than to ask." He brushed a lock of hair off her face and kissed her softly. "I will take solace in the fact that you will remember the man who gave you pleasure this night." His voice was light, but there was a look in his eyes that suggested that this was far more important to him than he would admit.

"I will remember." Jaheira replied, knowing that she spoke the truth.

"Good. Then let's see if we can make more memories tonight." He pulled her close, exploring her body anew with lips and hands, till her passion matched his.

Some time later, Anomen sat up, stretching to take the kinks out of his back. Jaheira watched him, admiring the play of muscles under his skin as he stretched. "Hmm, I have decided that I do like your body." Jaheira said, running her hand lightly over his back.

"Thank you, my lady, it serves me well." He leaned over and kissed her, drawing his fingers up her stomach and making her shiver. "And I hope I have shown adequate appreciation for yours; for there is much to admire."

She laughed and batted his hand away. "Oh, I feel adequately 'appreciated', have no fear. I suspect if I were any more 'appreciated', I'd be unable to walk come morning!"

He joined her laughter and they lay together for a few moments longer. Finally, he sat up again and began to gather his clothes. "Jaheira, it's getting very late, and we both need some sleep before tomorrow. Do you wish me to return to my room or stay here until morning? I would be glad to stay, but I know you may not be ready for such intimacy."

Once again, he had surprised her. Making love to Khalid had always been wonderful, but she felt that the most intensely intimate time they shared was falling asleep in each other's arms afterward, and waking to see the joy in the other's face. Anomen seemed to understand instinctively that the physical intimacy they had shared that night did not necessarily mean she was prepared for the emotional intimacy of the morning.

"I…I don't know, Anomen. I can promise there will be no knife in the ribs, but I cannot guarantee there won't be other…regrets, if you stay."

"I understand. One thing I have learned is that a man should not overstay his welcome in these situations." He dressed quickly and then sat down on the bed next to her. "Jaheira, please be assured that what happened between us this night will remain between us. I may be a failed knight, but am I not the kind of man who brags to others about his lovers."

Jaheira was strangely angered that he felt she would need reassurance on that point. "Do you think I would lie with a man I held in such low regard? I know you will not tell anyone."

He looked away, his expression unreadable. "I did not know you held me in any regard." He turned back, and smiled. "But thank you for your trust." He kissed her briefly and was gone.

She lay back on the bed and pulled the bedclothes over her. As she lay trying to sleep, she questioned the wisdom of the decisions she had made that night, both in asking him to stay and in letting him go. Sleep did not come easily.


	3. Chapter 3

_Domi: Thanks for the comment! Have no fear; a lot more character background is coming. It may seem backward to have what usually serves as the build-up to a romance happen after they get together, but it's pretty much intentional. From J & A's perspective, they didn't see this coming at all, so they're definitely having to play catch up to figure out what they feel about each other._

Chapter 3

Jaheira awoke late, aching in body and uneasy in mind. Breakfast was difficult for her; despite repeatedly assuring herself that it was impossible, she could not shake the feeling that somehow, everyone must be able to sense what had happened the night before. Anomen's presence at breakfast made matters worse. Although he did nothing overt enough to raise suspicions, he had a way of looking at her that both warmed her and alarmed her at the same time. Ironically, it was Jaheira who came closest to revealing that there was something between them when she caught a smile from Anomen that was obviously meant just for her. It reminded her so vividly of one he had given her the previous night that she started and blushed at the memory.

Anomen seemed to take the situation in stride, chatting animatedly with the others, but Jaheira reacted to her discomfort by being distant and short-tempered. Even Imoen felt the sharp side of her tongue after making an innocent comment about Jaheira arriving late to breakfast. After what seemed to be an interminable time, the others moved to leave the table, and Jaheira was seized with panic at the thought that Anomen might try to speak to her alone. Her feelings about him were far too confused and her thoughts too disturbingly likely to turn to memories of their night together for her to risk seeing him again so soon.

Jaheira engaged Dani in conversation on some pretext to cover her retreat, and at the first opportunity fled back to her room, hoping that solitude would help her calm her disorderly thoughts. Why was this happening? She had gotten what she wanted and had no regrets about her tryst with Anomen—it had been wonderful feeling that way again. She sighed in aggravation. It was supposed to be so _simple; _she had shared a night of passion with Anomen and her need for a man's company should be satisfied. Jaheira felt that she should be content, but somehow, she was not. Something still seemed…incomplete. Even worse, she found that being near Anomen now was profoundly disturbing to the equilibrium she had regained with such difficulty after the loss of her beloved Khalid.

Unconsciously, her thoughts turned to Anomen. Was he thinking of her, and remembering their time together? _Stop._ She told herself firmly. _There is no point to this. It is done, it is over, and it meant no more to him than to me._ It was clear to her that if she wanted to reclaim the sense of balance in her life that she so valued she must have as little contact with Anomen as possible. In time, she told herself, Anomen and their night together would be become a less intrusive and frequent presence in her thoughts.

But that was little comfort now, when the memory of the light in his eyes when she told him she would remember their time together kept appearing, unbidden, in her mind.

* * *

Jaheira had disappeared immediately after breakfast, so it took most of the day for Anomen to find an opportunity to speak to her alone. Although if he had been asked it would have been difficult for him to articulate clearly _why _he needed to speak to her again, but he felt he must. In truth, he feared that if he did not speak, the tenuous connection that he sensed had been established between them the night before might be lost. 

Their night together was a revelation. Not just the lovemaking—though Anomen was unable to suppress a grin to himself when he thought of _that_—but the fact that the time he had spent with her had revealed a side of Jaheira that he had seen only the faintest glimpses of before. Alone with him in the safe confines of her room, she had been warm, relaxed, and surprisingly ready to laugh, and Anomen had enjoyed her company more than he had ever dreamed possible. Although Jaheira had made it clear that she was only interested in him as a lover for just the one night, perhaps their night of passion could open the door to a more lasting friendship.

He found her on a secluded platform in the eastern end of the city, looking pensively out over Suldanesselar. He waited until he had approached her closely to call her name, not wanting to draw unwanted attention.

"Jaheira?"

"Anomen, what are you doing here? What will people think if they see us together?" Jaheira asked sharply.

Surprised by her tone, Anomen forced himself to reply evenly, "I wanted a chance to speak to you in private, if I may. I believe no one else is nearby, but if others did see us together, most likely they would believe we are just two friends conversing." He raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Unless of course, you have something else in mind."

One glance at her face told him that his attempt at humor was not appreciated. "I thought you understood what my wishes were in this matter. Please respect them." She replied, with a steely look in her eyes.

"Jaheira, I was _jesting_. I know what your wishes are, and have every intention of honoring them. But even if we are no longer lovers, could we at least be friends? I enjoyed your company very much last night, so perhaps…"

Jaheira cut him off with an angry gesture. "No. That will not be possible."

"Not possible? Why not?" Anomen groped for an explanation. "If you are concerned that the others will guess what happened between us if our relationship changes suddenly, we can always proceed more slowly."

"I think I have stated my wishes clearly enough, Anomen. I have no desire to spend time with you, either as a friend or a lover."

Anomen looked at her in surprise and dismay. He could not reconcile the hostile woman standing in front of him with the woman he had held in his arms and laughed with the night before, but it was clear to him that further discussion was pointless.

He felt the familiar rage rising inside him at yet another rejection, another betrayal by someone he had trusted. _No_, he thought as he suppressed the anger and tried to compose himself. _I will not give her the satisfaction of seeing me angry._

"As you wish, Jaheira." He replied, and strode away without a backward glance.

* * *

Several days had passed since Jaheira's night with Anomen, and she was feeling pleased with herself. Although at first she had been unsettled about what had occurred, now she felt she had resolved the issue in her mind and could move ahead with her life. There was still a pang of regret whenever she remembered the hurt on Anomen's face when she had rebuffed him the next day, but she was sure that a clean break was what was needed. Someday Anomen would come to realize it also. Certainly they had exchanged nothing but polite monosyllables since then. 

Jaheira rounded the corner of the corridor she was using and noticed in passing that one of the benches placed intermittently along its side was occupied. That in itself was not an unusual occurrence, for the corridor was not a heavily traveled one, and the benches were often used by couples looking for a little privacy. This couple caught her eye, however, primarily because the man's size immediately marked him as human—a large human—rather than an elf.

As she passed them, she realized that the man's dark hair and bearded profile were all too familiar. Anomen was deep in conversation with a very pretty elf woman, their heads bent close together, her hand in his. The woman did not seem in the least perturbed by this familiarity, on the contrary, to Jaheira's eyes, she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying Anomen's attention.

She could not suppress a soft cry of surprise. "Anomen?" The last thing she remembered of the scene was his head jerking up, eyes wide in shock and recognition, as she fled back down the corridor the way she had come.


	4. Chapter 4

_Moving right along…things are starting to get more complicated for our would-be lovers. Enjoy!_

_FYI, I don't plan to drag this out for too long. This story will probably be a total of around 10 chapters or so in the end._

_Update 6-20-05: Per Domi's suggestions, I've made some changes to the first part of this chapter._

_

* * *

_Chapter 4

The next night, Dani and Kelsey had returned to their room and were preparing for bed when Kelsey noticed that Dani had stopped brushing her hair and was staring off into space, looking thoughtful. He slipped up behind her and put his arms around her. "How's my favorite heroine?"

Dani started at his touch, then turned and smiled at him, the smile that never failed to take his breath away. "Fine, love. Sorry I wasn't listening to you."

Kelsey laughed. "That's just as well, since I stopped talking five minutes ago. What's on your mind, Dani?"

"Oh, nothing important, I was just thinking." She paused and then added, with deliberate casualness. "So, what did you think of Anomen's new friend, what was her name…Elenelle?" Not waiting for him to respond to her question, she continued, "She's certainly beautiful…"

"I'd say! _Very_ beautiful." Kelsey said earnestly. When Dani gave him a mock glare, he amended hastily, "_Relatively_ beautiful, I meant to say. So, what did you think of her, honey?" Kelsey grinned. "After all, you usually _do_ have an opinion on the lives and loves of our little band."

"Just trying to be an effective and caring leader." Dani replied rather officiously. "Well, despite being very attractive, I don't think she's Anomen's type. I doubt anything will come of it."

Kelsey raised his eyebrows in surprise. "His type? I didn't know Anomen had a 'type'. Other than you—and you were obviously a special case—the women I've seen him with had only two characteristics in common; 'pretty' and 'available'. And judging from the way she was hanging onto to every word of his tales of heroism and daring-do, I think this new one qualifies."

"Well, you have to admit that for the people here, we are all rather heroic." She looked at Kelsey fondly. "And unlike _you_, Anomen is available for the elf-maidens to swoon over. Besides, he can be pretty charming when he wants to be."

"Anomen is _charming_? That's certainly news to me!"

"I don't think he tries to be charming to _you_." Dani commented dryly. "But yes, since he stopped acting alternatively angry and morose all the time, he can be really sweet…and funny too."

Kelsey looked a little stunned. "'Sweet' and 'funny'?" He repeated incredulously. "Those are two words I've _never_ heard used to describe Anomen before. I'll guess have to take your word for it, because I've sure never seen it. So why don't you think Elenelle is his type?"

"Well, it's like you said, she was hanging on his every word. She just seems too…_clingy_ for him. He wants someone with a little more spirit than that—someone who'll stand up to him." Dani said firmly.

"Why do you say that? Anomen seemed perfectly happy to have Elenelle 'cling'—maybe he'd prefer someone who will look on adoringly while he plays the big, strong hero."

"I thought that too, when I first met Anomen. You'd think a nobleman and aspiring knight would want a wife who was the 'noble ideal' of womanhood; you know, sweet, demure, and happy to stay home and have babies while her man was off slaying dragons or whatever. So it didn't make any sense for him to fall in love with _me_."

Kelsey grinned. "Believe me, you're the only one who thought that!"

Dani rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, Kelsey. A fighter-adventurer-Bhaalspawn on a quest to save her sister from the Cowled Wizards is about as far removed from someone like Maria Firecam as you can get. But then after some of the things he said about his parents' marriage, it began to make sense."

"Anomen adored his mother, but he told me he never really understood why she didn't do more to get herself and her children away from Lord Cor. Whether she was afraid of the public disgrace of leaving him, or just felt it was her duty to stay with her husband, it doomed her and the children to a miserable life. Even worse, Anomen's sister Moira also refused to leave her father even though Anomen begged her to." Dani paused. "When Anomen told me that he knew _I'd_ never put up with a man who treated me like Cor treated his mother, all the pieces fell into place."

"Anomen feels that he has inherited his father's violent temper, and…" Dani sighed and looked at Kelsey, her eyes sad. "I think that deep down, he is afraid that he will become like his father. I'm sure he's never told himself that he _must_ fall in love with someone who is not like his mother, but by doing so, he has kind of a…safeguard to prevent himself from turning into his father."

Kelsey shuddered. He had met Anomen's father, Lord Cor Delryn, briefly on one occasion, and remembered it all too well. "Yeah, it may not be nearly as bad as turning into the Slayer, but I can see that the prospect of turning into Lord Cor would be very…unappealing."

"So _that's_ why I think he'd be more likely to fall in love with a woman that has a backbone and a mind of her own. Someone like…"

Kelsey finished the sentence for her. "I know, I know, _Imoen_." He chuckled. "You don't give up, do you, Dani? You've been trying to play matchmaker for Imoen and Anomen since we got out of Spellhold, and with no noticeable success, I might add. She treats him like a big brother she loves to torment, and he treats her like a pesky little sister."

Dani sighed in frustration. "I know. If they'd only realize how perfect they are for each other."

Kelsey grinned at her. "Like your other matchmaking project…Jaheira and Valygar?"

"Now you're just being mean, Kelsey. You know as well as I do that the only reason that didn't work was that it was too soon after Khalid's death and she wasn't ready to fall in love again."

Kelsey's mouth quirked a little in response, but his only comment was a diplomatic, "Whatever you say, dear." Then Kelsey laughed and kissed her. "Dani, I've heard it said that it's the people who are happy in love who want everyone else to be happy in love. Think that's true?"

Dani laughed and pulled him close. "Without a doubt, love. Now, let's get to bed, I'm dead on my feet."

Kelsey grinned at her. "You don't have to ask me twice, beautiful. Though I hope you're not _too_ tired." As they snuggled under the covers, Kelsey said, "Hey, Dani, I meant to ask you, why was Jaheira in such a foul mood tonight?"

"I don't know, Kelsey, I wondered about that myself. It was strange; it seemed to come out of nowhere." She gave him a sly grin. "You know, I bet she wouldn't _be_ in such a bad mood now if she'd fallen in love with Valygar like she was supposed to."

Kelsey groaned in mock despair. "I give! I surrender! I will never question your matchmaking skills again!"

"You surrender, do you?" Dani asked him teasingly. "How very convenient." She pulled him close and kissed him, and no more words were needed for quite some time.

* * *

Danira sighed heavily. There were some aspects of being a group leader that she hated, and dealing with personal conflicts between members of the team was definitely near the top of the list. To make matters worse, the person who had caused the trouble this time was the one person on the team unquestionably her senior in age and experience, the one person she would never have expected to need her "let's all behave like adults" speech: Jaheira. As she and Jaheira sat down together, she wondered what the best approach would be. When she recalled some of the lectures Jaheira had given _her_ in the past, she decided that for Jaheira, brutal honesty was called for. 

"Jaheira, what in the Nine Hells has gotten into you? You've been acting like a wounded she-bear for the last three days!"

"I…I don't know what you're talking about." Jaheira replied, with one of the most unconvincing displays of nonchalance that Dani had ever seen.

Dani rolled her eyes. "Jaheira, please. How long have I known you? I have seen you angry, fearful, in pain, and overcome by grief, but I can't recall anytime when you've been as ill tempered, cranky, and downright bitchy as you have been recently. Why, just yesterday, you shrieked like a fishwife at Minsc because Boo left some cracker crumbs on the table! _Minsc_, of all people!"

"Well, perhaps I have been…out of sorts lately. I think it is this prolonged period of inactivity that I am not accustomed to…"

"Uh-huh." Dani answered skeptically. "Well, leaving aside for now that not too long ago you told me how tired you were of traveling and how you couldn't wait to stay in one place for a while, I have another question for you. Why have you been so much harder on Anomen than anyone else?" Dani noticed that Jaheira gave a brief start in surprise, which she quickly suppressed.

"Really, Dani, now you _are_ imaging things!" Jaheira replied indignantly.

"Well, if I'm imaging it, Anomen is too. After that last time, it looked like he was trying to decide which was the least dishonorable course of action; to hide anytime you get near him, or to say some _very_ ungentlemanly things to you. And I can't say I'd blame him in the least if he did."

Dani's voice softened. "Look, Jaheira, I know you've never liked him or trusted him, but after all we've been through together, I think he's more than earned our trust and respect."

"He may have _your_ trust and respect," Jaheira replied tartly, "but then, you've always been far too trusting. I know what kind of man he is, so I'll make up my _own_ mind, thank you."

"Jaheira, I don't think you _do_ know what kind of man he is. You may _think_ you do, based on what he did after his sister died and he was expelled from the Order, but is it fair to judge his whole life by the lowest point in it? It would be like deciding what kind of person you are by considering only what you said and did right after Khalid died. If I recall, you were not at your most kind or tolerant then."

Jaheira scoffed. "It's hardly the same thing." To Dani's surprise, Jaheira got up and began pacing restlessly.

"It's not exactly the same, but in its own way, losing his sister and his dream of joining the Order were just as devastating for him as Khalid's death was for you. I know you've always thought I was foolish to give him a chance after he was expelled from the Order, but he's tried so hard and come so far since then, and I don't understand why you can't see that. Whether you believe it or not, he's a good man, and he's fought and bled every bit as much as the rest of us. I don't know what's been bothering you lately, but he doesn't deserve to bear the brunt of your ill-temper just because he's made some mistakes in the past."

"You say I trust too easily, and although I admit it was difficult for us all when I had to tell him I loved Kelsey," her eyes clouded a little at the remembered pain, "he has been a good and loyal friend to me, and repaid my trust many times over." She added, almost as an afterthought, "I'm sure he'd be happy to be your friend too, if you'd just give him a chance."

Dani glanced up at her and was astonished to see Jaheira blanche and flinch at her final words. Jaheira sat down in the chair next to Dani with none of her usual grace, and stared off at nothing with a stunned expression. _She looks like Anomen hit her with his mace. What did I **say**?_ After a few minutes, Dani was growing concerned and was about to speak again, when Jaheira turned to her, her eyes bleak.

"I…I see your point, Dani. Perhaps I _have_ been unfair to consider only what he was and not what he has become. I can see that he is not the angry and violent man he was a few months ago. "

"Well this _is_ a surprise! And I'm sure it's the very first time you admitted I was right and you were wrong about something!" Dani gave Jaheira a wry smile.

"Don't expect it to happen often." Jaheira retorted, but with much less bite than usual. Then, under her breath, so quietly that Dani wasn't sure she heard her correctly, Jaheira added, "But how _could_ I have made such a terrible error?"

Not sure what to make of Jaheira's aside, Dani continued. "Of course, that doesn't explain why you've been picking on him so much recently. I can't imagine what horrible thing he could have done to bring down your wrath on him, but if it is something he's done, _talk_ to him, Jaheira, and I'm sure he'll be reasonable. I'd say the fact that he hasn't blown up at you so far is a good indication of how much better he's gotten at controlling that temper of his."

Dani paused, then added. "Jaheira, these past few months have been one long nightmare, and I know you still miss Khalid very much. You and Imoen are the closest thing I have to family, and we haven't had much opportunity to talk lately. If there's anything you want to talk about, you know you can come to me anytime."

"I know, child." Jaheira patted her cheek affectionately. "Thank you. But this is a problem I must solve on my own. Anything less would truly be cowardice. If you'll excuse me, Dani, I have much to think about."

Dani could have sworn she saw tears in Jaheira's eyes as she left the room with her head down, already deep in thought. Dani shook her head. She had seldom had a stronger feeling that there was much more going on than she knew about. _Huh. And knowing Jaheira, I'm sure I'll never find out, either._


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry it has taken longer than anticipated to get the next chapter up…I ended up making extensive revisions to both Chapter 5 and Chapter 6._

_I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

Chapter 5 

Anomen was once again trying to find Jaheira so they could talk privately, but in a far different frame of mind than he had been when he had sought her out before. Anomen had had enough; enough of Jaheira's stormy temper and equally stormy silences, enough of being dressed down for every error he made, real or imagined, enough of wondering why she was behaving as she was. He wanted answers, and by Helm, he would have them.

Jaheira had not made an appearance at breakfast, so Anomen searched in the areas used most commonly by their group, and the outside areas adjacent to them, but to no avail. He was debating whether he dared try her room when he came upon her unexpectedly in a side corridor.

"Jaheira, I have been looking for you. We need to talk in private."

When he was considering whether to confront Jaheira, he had envisioned several possible responses on her part, none of them pleasant. So he was quite surprised when she looked at him evenly and responded, "Yes, it is time—and past time—for us to talk."

They found an unoccupied room nearby that was often used for small gatherings. Determined not to let Jaheira get the upper hand, Anomen began speaking as soon as the door was closed.

"Jaheira, I'm not sure why you have been so angry with me these last few days, but it must stop. For one thing, I have done nothing to merit such ire, and for another, if you continue the others are bound to notice that I am the particular target of your temper and wonder why."

"They already have, or at least Dani has." Jaheira replied calmly. "She took me aside yesterday and told me in no uncertain terms that my behavior was unacceptable and that I should stop, in her words, 'picking on' you. It was…hard having my actions criticized in that way, but I know that she is right. It was wrong for me to treat you as I have been, and for that I apologize." She paused. "The last time we spoke you offered to be my friend; I think I would like that, if the offer is still open."

Anomen was so delighted by her change in attitude his first thought was to gratefully accept her offer of friendship. But some instinct warned him against taking this seemingly easy and painless path to the resolution of their problems. And upon reflection he knew why; for if he accepted her apology and her friendship now, he would probably never get the answers he needed.

"Thank you Jaheira, for your kind offer. And a week ago, I would have been delighted to accept it. But now?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry Jaheira, it's not enough."

This was clearly not the response Jaheira had anticipated. "Not enough? What do you mean, 'not enough'? What do you want from me?"

"What I want is to be treated with the respect I believe I have earned. I have kept the secret about our night together; I have respected your wishes by not pressing to continue the relationship; I even abandoned my hopes for a friendship with you when you made it clear that you did not want one. I think I have at least earned the courtesy of honesty from you."

"Honesty? What are you talking about? I've been honest with you!" Jaheira replied, with a hint of desperation in her voice.

"You may never have told me an outright untruth, Jaheira, but it's clear even now you are doing your best to avoid explaining why you were so adamant that we could not be friends, and in particular, why you have been so angry with me for the last few days. Jaheira, did you think I did not notice that you only became openly hostile to me after you saw me with another woman? If you are as indifferent to me as pretend, why would you do that?"

Anomen stepped close to her, gripped her arms so she would have to face him, and asked, "Why, Jaheira, have you been treating me this way? What is it you want, and what do you want from me?"

Jaheira did not pull away, but looked away to avoid meeting his eyes. "I…I have found that it is easier to go from feeling nothing to feeling something than it is to go back to feeling nothing again. I suppose I still want someone in my life."

"Just 'someone' Jaheira? If you just want 'someone' to warm your bed there are a hundred men here who would be happy to oblige and would be just as discreet as I have been." He gave her a half-smile. "Some might even be better lovers. And yet, you chose to punish _me_ when you saw me with someone else." He caught her eyes and asked intently, "Do you want my company, Jaheira?"

"Anomen, I…" Jaheira began and then her words faltered. She seemed frozen by indecision and unable to speak, but she gave Anomen a look of such naked entreaty that he realized he would need to take the lead.

He pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered in her ear, "Is this what you want, Jaheira? For us to be lovers again?" She trembled in his arms but did not try to pull away. He leaned down to give her a lingering kiss, and after a moment's hesitation, Jaheira put her arms around his neck and returned the kiss with equal fervor.

When they separated, Jaheira leaned her head against Anomen's broad chest and said, a little breathlessly. "Oh, Anomen."

"Well, I am going to need a bit more explanation than that!" Anomen snorted, and disengaged himself from Jaheira's arms. "I am at a utter loss to understand what you want from me and why you have been behaving as you have been. _Now_ you welcome my kisses and get angry when you see me with another woman, but not a week ago you told me that you wanted nothing to do with me! Is this some sort of game?"

"No! Anomen…" Jaheira began.

"You _used_ me, Jaheira" Anomen continued, unable to keep the pain out of his voice. "You used me and then cast me aside when you no longer needed me. Why should I believe this latest change of heart will have a different result?"

Jaheira looked at him beseechingly and finally composed herself enough to respond. "Anomen, I understand why it seems like deliberate cruelty on my part; asking you to spend the night with me, then pushing you away so harshly with no explanation, but that was never my intention. I…I did that because I was frightened."

"Frightened? What have I done that could have frightened you?" Anomen asked in surprise.

Jaheira sighed. "You've done nothing to frighten me; you've been nothing but patient and considerate. Anomen, I was a fool—I thought I could invite you to stay with me for one night and we could both walk away unaffected. It wasn't supposed to _matter_." She said, almost to herself.

"It mattered to _me_." Anomen replied quietly.

Jaheira reached up to gently touch Anomen's face. He flinched slightly but did not push her away. "I know, Anomen; as I said, I was a fool to think otherwise." Anomen was about to speak again, but Jaheira held up a hand to stop him. "Please let me finish while I have the courage to do so." She took a deep breath to steady herself and continued. "What frightened me and made me push you away was how much our night together _did_ matter to me. I wasn't ready to feel that way again, and I wasn't ready to accept that you were the one who touched me so."

"It…shames me to admit this, but I tried to justify my actions by telling myself you deserved no better. Dani finally made me acknowledge what I think I have known for a long time; you are not the same man now that you were when you left the Order, and that even then you were a good man under all your anger and pain."

Anomen felt the tight ball of anger that he had been nursing since Jaheira had rebuffed him ease somewhat. He _wanted_ to believe her and accept her apology, but was hesitant to trust her again, and reluctant to reveal just how much he wanted her to think well of him. Jaheira must have sensed his dilemma, because she embraced him and murmured, her voice shaking with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Anomen. It grieves me that I hurt you, that I rejected the friendship you offered because I was too cowardly to face how much our night together meant to me. You deserve so much better."

_By Helm, I think she means it!_ Anomen thought as he returned her embrace and said gruffly, "Thank you, Jaheira, I must confess that your good opinion is of value to me."

"More than it is worth, I'm sure." Jaheira said lightly. "I spent much of last night thinking, and finally forced myself to face some inconvenient truths. For one thing, I came to see that I cannot use my memories of Khalid as an excuse to run from what life is offering me _now_, especially if running means that I hurt someone who has shown me nothing but kindness. Khalid would not want that, nor do I.

"However, the bitterest irony for me was in realizing that not only have I treated you shamefully, but I did so because as much as I've tried to deny it, I _do_ want you to have a place in my life." Jaheira reddened. "You are right. I don't just want 'someone' in my life, I want _you_."

Anomen shook his head in bafflement. "Then why didn't you say that when I asked you what you wanted just now?"

Jaheira looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "I didn't think you'd still want me. You don't seem like the kind of man who easily forgives ill use, especially by someone you trusted," she added bluntly. "I thought you would be too angry to have anything to do with me, but I knew I had an obligation to at least try to explain and make amends."

"Make amends and ask me to be your lover again?" Anomen asked pointedly.

Jaheira shook her head sadly. "Ah, no. There is a difference between what I want and what I feel I can, in good conscience, ask of you."

Anomen fell silent and walked away from her, pausing at the room's balcony to gaze thoughtfully out at the trees of Suldanesselar. After a few moments he turned back to speak to the anxiously waiting Jaheira. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Jaheira," he began, "As was true from the beginning, you have my friendship if you want it. But even though you are being most careful not to ask more of me," Anomen gave her a sardonic smile and Jaheira blushed, "I don't think we can ignore what more there _could_ be between us. Please understand that _wanting_ has never been the question, I have wanted you since the first moment you kissed me. And if you had told me that night or the next day what you have told me today, you would have been hard pressed to find a happier man in all of Suldanesselar."

Jaheira cleared her throat and looked away. "I suspected as much. But now…"

"But now, even though I want you, I'm not sure I can _trust_ you." He paused, and caught her gaze. "It's not that I don't believe your explanation for why you acted as you did—I _do_ believe it, and I believe you sincerely regret hurting me. I can see that after losing Khalid it would be frightening to consider starting a relationship with someone else."

"But if you've hurt me once without intending to, what's to prevent you from doing so again, still with the best intentions? I'm not saying 'no, never', Jaheira, but I need some time to think things over and decide what I want." Anomen saw the look of consternation on Jaheira's face at his words, and he quickly added, "Please don't think I expect you to put your life on hold while I make up my mind; I know that I have no special claim on your heart."

_Somehow, that does not make this easier, _Jaheira thought. Her mind was a tumult of conflicting emotions; relief that he had not rejected her outright; dismay that the situation between them was still not resolved, and humiliation that she was left waiting for a man to make up his mind about her. But her strongest feeling was anger at herself for the foolish choices that had put her in this position. However, when she spoke, she managed to suppress all but a hint of emotion in her voice. "I understand, Anomen, thank you. Regardless of anything else, I will gladly accept your friendship."

Anomen leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips, surprised again by how much even such brief contact stirred him. "Then goodbye for now, Jaheira."

After Anomen left, Jaheira sat in the darkening room for some time, alone with her thoughts and her regrets.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jaheira saw Anomen frequently over the next few days. True to his word, he was friendly enough but not overly familiar. After her behavior of the past few days, the others at first treated Jaheira with exaggerated caution, which soon gave way to obvious relief that the storm, whatever its cause, had finally passed. For her part, Jaheira's behavior toward Anomen was, if not above reproach, all Dani could wish for.

One day, Dani approached her and conspiratorially pulled her aside. Dani smiled at Jaheira and whispered, "I'm happy to see that you seem to be getting along much better with Anomen these days, Jaheira. Did you talk to him and get things worked out?"

"Yes Dani, I did speak to him, and as you predicted, he was quite reasonable. You needn't be concerned that I will terrorize him anymore."

Dani was pleased, but still rather bewildered because Jaheira looked so unhappy.

On a few occasions, Elenelle appeared in Anomen's company, but Jaheira was unable to tell from their manner whether their relationship was becoming closer or not. And for someone like Jaheira, who relied upon herself and preferred to face problems head on, not knowing what was happening or how Anomen felt was intensely frustrating. Many times she considered confronting him to demand answers, and was only able to suppress the urge to do so with a firm reminder that she only had herself to blame for the situation. Which, though unquestionably true, did little to ease her dissatisfaction and impatience.

Days passed, and Jaheira was beginning to resign herself to the fact that Anomen had lost interest in any relationship but friendship. If she occasionally noticed that he was gazing at her with more than friendly interest, surely it was no more often than she found herself doing the same in return.

One day when she was sitting alone trying to read a rather dry volume of Tethyrian history, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and Anomen's voice murmured, "Jaheira, could I speak to you, my lady?"

Jaheira looked up into Anomen's dark eyes and her heart lurched. "Yes, yes of course, Anomen." She had been so impatient for this moment, but now that it had come she wanted nothing more than to have time stand still so she wouldn't have to face him. Jaheira stole a glance at Anomen as she stood up to follow him; but his face revealed nothing. As he guided her to a nearby room where they could be alone, she became uncomfortably aware of the warmth of his hand on her elbow. She shook her head at her own foolishness. _When did his touch become so important to me?_

They reached a small antechamber and Anomen ushered her inside, closing the door firmly after them. Jaheira took a seat on a small couch on one side of the room, and Anomen pulled up a chair opposite her. He leaned forward, took her hand and caught her gaze intently.

"Jaheira, thank you for the time you've granted me." He smiled at her "It was helpful to have some time to think things over without the…distraction of your presence." Jaheira herself was so distracted by his smile and the feel of her hand in his that she had to reprimand herself not to read too much into it.

Anomen continued. "But I'm afraid I must ask you to indulge me a little longer; I have made a decision, but feel I should explain how and why I came to that decision."

Jaheira' heart sank. It was clear that he was trying to make his 'no' decision as painless as possible for her. Fighting back tears, she stood and said with as much dignity as she could muster, "Thank you for your consideration, Anomen, but I needn't take up any more of your time."

Anomen looked alarmed and captured her hand again to prevent her from leaving. "Jaheira, don't go. Please hear me out; it is important to me that I tell you this. I have never spoken of it to anyone else" The plea in his eyes was so clear and heartfelt that she felt she could not refuse. _I owe him this much,_ Jaheira thought. She nodded assent and sat down across from him again.

"Thank you, my lady. It is a long tale, but I will try to tell it as briefly as possible. You were present during the events precipitated by my sister's murder, the…actions I took and my resulting expulsion from the Order." Anomen reddened and looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

Jaheira was astonished. Anomen hadn't spoken of the killing of Saerk and his daughter since shortly after it happened, and then it was to proclaim the rightness of his actions. Similarly, he rarely mentioned the Order, and always before it was to express anger and disdain at their rejection of him. Clearly, something had changed his thinking on the subject. Despite her impatience to hear his decision, Jaheira found herself listening intently.

"As you know, between grief for my sister and the pain and humiliation caused by my dismissal from the Order, that was a very dark time for me. And it was made worse when the woman I thought of as my one true friend and the love of my life, Danira, gave her heart to Kelsey rather than to me." Jaheira was about to speak, but Anomen held up his hand to forestall her and continued. "You needn't say anything, my lady. I know now that Dani followed her heart and was right to do so, but at the time it was a bitter, bitter blow."

"For a time, it seemed that the only being that saw _any_ worth in me was Helm himself. For despite the whispered predictions of some at the Order, Helm chose not to withdraw his power from me. Whether he felt I could still be of some small use as his servant, or he simply took pity on me, I will never know." Anomen looked up at her, his eyes haunted. "Whatever his reason, it saved my life. I think I would have gone mad if I had lost his favor along with everything else I valued."

"As you also know, after my expulsion from the Order, Dani let me stay and travel with the group. I cannot tell you how many times in those early days I vowed to leave her company and strike out on my own. Yet, I stayed, though the sight of Dani with Kelsey was like a blade in my heart. I told myself that I was staying to protect Dani in case Kelsey should prove to be dangerous or unfaithful, but in truth, I had nowhere else to go."

"So every morning I awoke, and ate, and traveled, and fought alongside all of you, though I can only imagine just how unpleasant my company must have been at that time. Then one morning, I awoke and found that it didn't hurt _quite_ as much to see Dani and Kelsey together. And when I put on my armor and gathered my weapons for the day, I realized I had regained at least a glimmer of the desire to fight for a worthy cause that had so guided my life as a squire. What's more, my Lord Helm obviously approved of my path too, for he was gifting me with increased power to use in his name."

"I found that somehow, all unknowing, I had in my hands the prospect of a new and purposeful life." Anomen smiled wryly, "I was not the life I had dreamed of as a young boy and as a squire—marching under the banner of the Order and smiting evil in the name of righteousness, but still, it was a life I could be proud of."

"I had been so wrapped up in my misery and my jealousy that I hadn't realized until then what a wondrous gift Dani had given me. She could not give me her love, but she gave me something almost as precious, her friendship and her trust when I was in dire need of someone who would believe in me, and she gave me a purpose in life when I had none." Anomen's voice cracked a little, and he paused to compose himself. "It is a debt I can never repay. That is why I will fight alongside her—fight _for_ her as long as she needs me."

Jaheira felt renewed shame at Anomen's words; not only for how she had treated him recently, but also for urging Dani to force him to leave after he was rejected by the Order.

Anomen continued. "But I also realized that if I was to become the man that Helm and Dani needed me to be, it was essential that I must learn how to control my damnable temper. My father's _true_ legacy." He added bitterly. "I feel I have made…progress toward ruling my anger rather than letting it rule me, but some days my control seems more uncertain than others." He caught her eyes. "For instance, on the day you turned away my offer of friendship."

"After our last conversation, I asked myself whether I should risk whatever small measure of happiness and stability I've found in this new life of mine for someone who may very well betray my trust again. I think the sane answer, the rational answer to that question is 'no'."

Jaheira suddenly found it difficult to breathe, and to her humiliation, tears stung her eyes. _There is no point in hearing more._ She stood up and said tersely, "Thank you for your consideration, Anomen. I will take my leave now."

Anomen, caught by surprise, started and said, "Jaheira, wait, please!" His plea went unheeded as Jaheira headed for the door. Anomen stood and grasped her arm, "Jaheira, please wait, I am not finished!"

"Anomen, what more is there to say? There is no rational reason for you to become involved with me. Now let me go."

"Perhaps Helm knows why I am drawn to a woman as aggravating as you, for I do not! Please listen to me, Jaheira!"

Jaheira tugged on her arm, but it was useless; Anomen was far stronger than she was and determined not to let her escape. She decided to try another tack; Jaheira glared at Anomen and said, "You are not behaving like a gentleman!"

To Jaheira's surprise, Anomen laughed. "No, I am not. But a true gentleman would have politely declined the invitation to lie with you in the first place. You didn't want a gentleman then, are you sure you want one now?" He asked, with a lifted eyebrow and a challenging glint in his eyes.

His voice softened, and he looked at her imploringly. "Jaheira, please let me finish what I was saying; I think you will not be displeased. I swear on my honor as a Priest of Helm that if you listen to me now and still want to leave when I'm done, I will not try to stop you."

The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice made her heart beat faster. She glanced away, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. "I will listen."

"Thank you, my lady." Before releasing her arm Anomen chanted a quick healing spell to remove any bruising. "I am sorry, Jaheira. I did not want to hurt you, but I did not relish the prospect of trailing behind you in the hall, shouting my feelings for all the world to hear."

"Jaheira, as I was about to say, the safe and rational decision would be for me to protect myself, protect this new life of mine by turning away from you." He took her hands in his and his eyes sought hers. "But I cannot, I _will_ not, live my life ruled only by what is safe and rational, especially when taking a chance might win me something I so desire." He smiled and touched her cheek. "Besides, I have the life I do now because Dani took a risk and trusted me, when the safe choice would have been to ask me to go. It seems…_fitting_ to me that I should do the same for you."

"So Jaheira, what say you? Do you still want the company of an ungentlemanly Priest of Helm?"

Jaheira looked into his eyes and saw all that she hoped to see there. Her breath came hard and she had difficulty getting words past the lump in her throat. Somehow, she was able to smile and maintain her composure. "It is…possible, Anomen. But first I have one question for you. What of your friend, Elenelle? That is her name, is it not?"

Anomen, obviously surprised by her question, barked out a laugh, and then peered at her face intently. "Why, Jaheira, I never noticed how very _green_ your eyes look in this light." Jaheira reddened. "Yes, that is her name." Anomen added.

"She is very beautiful." Jaheira added.

"Yes, she is very beautiful." Anomen agreed.

"And most likely, far less aggravating than I am." Jaheira continued.

"Of that, you may be certain." Anomen replied dryly.

"And very _willing_, if I read the signs aright." Jaheira noted pointedly.

"Jaheira, you know that it would be extremely ungentlemanly of me to even comment on that suggestion!" Anomen said in a voice heavy with offended virtue. Jaheira laughed.

"Hmmph. As I suspected." Jaheira grabbed the front of Anomen's tunic and pulled him close, her cheek next to his. "Then why," she asked in an undertone, "are you here with _me_, Anomen Delryn?"

Anomen smiled and put his arms around her. "I can think of several possible reasons, my lady. One is that I like a challenge."

"Another possibility is that I like a woman who will stand up to me and call me a fool when I deserve it. And perhaps even sometimes when I don't deserve it."

Anomen caught Jaheira's eyes and held her tighter. "But I think the most likely reason is that she never stirred me _half_ as much as you do, Jaheira." There was a look of such unguarded tenderness in Anomen's eyes that Jaheira almost stopped breathing for a moment.

Jaheira struggled against her desire to fling herself into his arms and kiss him passionately; instead she fixed Anomen with a stern look and asked, "Well, Anomen, then what of Elenelle? Were you lovers? _Are_ you lovers?"

Anomen stared at Jaheira for a moment in amazement and shook his head, chuckling. "When I was in training with the Church and the Order, they warned of us of the many perils we would face. It was a grave oversight on their part not to number beautiful, _stubborn_, half-elven druids among them."

Jaheira was about to speak again, but Anomen held up a hand to deter her. "Peace, Jaheira! I can see that evasion is useless. Nay, my lady, Elenelle and I are not lovers, and we never were."

"When you first saw us together, we had known each other for only a short time. Elenelle is not quite as…_forward_ as you when it comes to soliciting bed partners." Anomen glanced at Jaheira to see if she would rise to the bait. To his disappointment, she snorted but did not otherwise comment. "So we had not yet been intimate."

"Then, after it became clear that you were not _quite_ as indifferent to my charms as you pretended, I felt it would be unwise to take another lover while things were so unsettled between us." Anomen shrugged. "But I was tempted, and in honesty, if you had not shown an interest in continuing our relationship, I probably would have."

This time, it was Anomen who regarded Jaheira intently. "Jaheira, my lady, as I recall you didn't exactly answer _my_ question: Do you still want me to have a place in your life—in your arms?"

Jaheira caressed the back of his neck and pulled him close until she could feel his breath on her cheek. "Oh, Anomen, you _are_ a fool if you have to ask."

Anomen laughed. "Then I am content in my folly."

No more words were needed. Anomen pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her teasingly, which only served to fuel their passion for each other. Jaheira returned the embrace and drew him toward her again for a long, slow kiss that left them both breathless and trembling with desire.

After a time, Anomen asked, "Now that we have established that I want you and you want me, what should we do about it? Should I come to your room tonight?"

Jaheira gave Anomen a sly smile. "I have a better idea. I think I shall go back to my room now. If you were to stop by in say, ten minutes or so, I believe I will be ready to receive visitors."

Anomen grinned at her. "Another reason I hadn't considered! I _do_ like a woman who knows what she wants. I will be there, my lady."

Jaheira turned to leave and Anomen caught her arm, the laughter gone from his eyes. "Can I trust you _this_ time, Jaheira?" He asked intently.

She met his eyes. "I'm not sure any assurances I can give will be adequate, Anomen. I have certainly given you no reason to trust my bare word. But perhaps it will help if I tell you that I am no longer frightened. I want this; I want _you_, and not for just a night."


	7. Chapter 7

_This is one of my favorite chapters. Perhaps because unlike some of the others, I found it extremely easy to write—the conversation between Jaheira and Anomen feels very natural to me. I hope you enjoy it._

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Chapter 7

Anomen and Jaheira's relationship continued as it had begun. They discussed whether to reveal their affair to the others, but neither felt ready for such scrutiny. Instead, every few days there would be a whispered conference in a secluded corner or a note slipped from hand to hand, and arrangements would be made. Anomen would knock discreetly on her door after the others were asleep, and would be gone again before morning.

The weeks passed quickly in Suldanesselar.

Jaheira could not sleep. It was late, and Anomen had left a few minutes before, but still, she could not sleep. She got up, put on a robe, and went out onto the balcony of her room, seeking fresh air to clear her head.

As she gazed at the stars in the clear night sky, her mind went back to a conversation she had with Dani earlier. Every day there were more reports of Bhaalspawn and their armies wreaking havoc in Tethyr. Queen Ellesime had not yet made her wishes known, but it was clear from the occasional fearful glances directed at Dani and Imoen that their status as the saviors of Suldanesselar would not protect them from suspicion for much longer. What their path and purpose would be was still unknown, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that soon they would all have to leave Suldanesselar.

Jaheira had counseled Dani as best she could in such an uncertain situation, but she could not share her own personal dilemma at the prospect of leaving; how it would affect her relationship with Anomen. Their relationship was still a secret from the others, though at times Jaheira suspected that was as much due to her and Anomen's supposed indifference to each other than it was to their discretion.

However, keeping their relationship a secret would be nigh impossible once they left Suldanesselar—normally at inns or when camping rough, Jaheira shared her room or tent with Imoen. She could see no way to request a private room without the others wondering why she needed one, and sneaking off into the underbrush held no appeal for her. That left only two real choices; she and Anomen must either let the others know about their relationship, or it must end.

Jaheira told herself that whatever happened, she would go on with her life as before, but knew in her heart what her decision would be if it were her choice alone. Anomen had come to mean so much to her in the weeks they had been together, more than she would have believed possible when she first invited him to stay with her. His warmth, good humor, and the comfort he offered made their nights together the best part of her time in Suldanesselar. So much so that sometimes it was hard to keep the laughter and secrets they shared at night from spilling over into the day for all to see. She didn't love him as she had Khalid, but her heart sank at the thought of losing what they had together.

But the decision was _not_ up to her alone. And as eager as he was to spend his nights with her, Jaheira was not sure what his choice would be. For all their shared confidences, Jaheira sensed in Anomen passion held back; trust kept in reserve; and a deep well of pain behind his eyes that she could not touch. It bothered her that since their first time together, he had never again asked if he could stay through the night in her room. She could not help but worry that her fear and uncertainty at the beginning of their relationship had irreparably damaged his trust in her.

All she could do was wait and hope he would come to trust her more fully, and that he valued their relationship as much as she did. _But I cannot wait too long,_ she thought worriedly. _Decisions have to be made, and soon._

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The next night, Jaheira was surprised by a knock on her door. She and Anomen had not made arrangements for him to come to her that night, and she was not expecting anyone else.

She opened the door to find a very disheveled-looking Anomen leaning heavily against the doorframe. Anomen was a tidy man by nature, and had never entirely abandoned the discipline he had learned in the Order, so his appearance was a shock. At first, she was concerned that he might have been injured in some way, but when she neared him the scent of alcohol almost overwhelmed her. _Hmph._ _No, not injured, just thoroughly and completely drunk._

"Oh Anomen, what has happened, what have you done?" Jaheira cried. Like his untidy appearance, his drunkenness was unexpected. Normally he was quite cautious in his drinking habits, for reasons Jaheira understood and thoroughly approved. She had not seen him in this condition since the black days following his expulsion from the Order. She felt something else must be at work besides a simple lapse in self-control. When he looked up at her, his dark eyes were haunted, confirming her suspicions.

"I am sorry, Jaheira. I know you were not expecting me tonight, and certainly not in this condition. But I…I need to talk to someone tonight—I need you, if you'll have me."

"Oh, you exasperating man." Jaheira replied acerbically. "Do you honestly think I'll shut the door in your face? Come in before you fall down."

"Thank you, my lady. I must confess I am feeling rather unsteady."

She guided him to a chair and helped him into it. "Now, Anomen, tell me what happened. You were fine when I saw you at dinner. This isn't like you!"

Anomen sighed. "I have my own personal anniversary of grief, it seems. You know how the days drift by in this place—it is easy to lose track of the weeks we've spent here." He smiled and caught her hand. "Though our time here has been quite memorable for many reasons."

"Well, after I saw you earlier, I realized it is Moira's birthing-day. She would have been twenty years old today." His voice cracked with emotion. "I was thinking of her, wondering what she would be like now, and what she might be doing. I thought how proud she would have been of our accomplishments, and…and it hit me hard, the missing her."

"Oh Anomen." When Jaheira put her arms around him, he pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in her neck.

"I was in what passes for a tavern in this place, and halfway to drinking myself into oblivion, when I came to believe that some elves at another table were talking about me. Of course I couldn't understand what they were saying, but something in their faces or their tones made me think they were mocking me." Anomen's face grew grim and he continued. "I got up to confront them, and when I did, one of them recognized me and greeted me in quite a friendly manner. He spoke enough Common to thank me—thank me!—for helping to save Suldanesselar.

"Well, as you can imagine, it made me feel like the biggest fool in Faerun—which I no doubt am—and it also made me realize that behaving like my drunken bastard of a father is a damned poor way to honor Moira's memory. I suppose I should have gone back to my room when I left the tavern, but I couldn't bear to be alone, so I came here."

"Anomen, you are an idiot. Why didn't you come to me _first_, instead of trying to drink yourself to death?"

"Jaheira, I wasn't sure what kind of welcome I'd receive. You have your own grief and I didn't want to impose. Grieving for a sister isn't quite the same as grieving the loss of a husband."

"No, they're not quite the same, but you should know that you can come to me when you're in pain. Do you really have such a low opinion of me that you thought I'd turn you away when you needed me?"

"Jaheira, you know I don't have a low opinion of you. It's just that…I thought…" He gave up trying to order his muddled thoughts. "I'm damned if I know what I thought." He pulled her closer. "Thank you Jaheira, it helps to talk to someone about it."

"I know it does." She said softly and they held each other for a time in silence.

Finally, Anomen spoke, in a hearty tone that didn't fool Jaheira for a moment. "Thank you again, milady, for your sympathy and understanding. If you allow me a few more minutes to compose myself, I am sure I can find my way back to my own room."

Jaheira snorted. "Do you really think I'm going to let you wander the halls in your condition?" She gave him a crooked smile. "You might pass out in front of my door and then what would people say?"

She got up from his lap and pulled him to his feet. "Let's get you to bed."

"My lady," Anomen protested, "surely you don't want a disgusting drunkard to share your bed tonight!"

"Anomen, you are not a disgusting drunkard." She eyed him critically. "Well not _too_ disgusting, anyway. You are the same man who has shared my bed these last few weeks; just a little worse for wear. Now let me help you undress. If you pass out in your clothes you are far too heavy for me to handle alone."

Anomen started to renew his protests but he quickly realized that she was determined and it was useless to argue. Soon they were both undressed and lying on the bed in each other's arms.

At first he seemed content just to hold her, but before long her nearness aroused his desire. When she responded to his touch, his need quickly became urgent, and he pulled her roughly to him and called her name, kissing her with unfeigned need. Gone was the gentle lover of their previous encounters, replaced by one both fiercer and wilder who took her with a passion that both surprised and exhilarated Jaheira.

When they lay together after their passion was spent, Anomen looked at her, chagrined. "My lady, I must apologize, I fear I was not as attentive to your needs as I should have been. I don't know what came over me…I hope I did not injure you."

"I may have a few bruises tomorrow, but no, you didn't injure me. And although I'm not sure I'd want you to make love to me like that every time, I have no complaints." She caught his eyes. "It must have been what you needed tonight, Anomen, so don't apologize."

"Thank you for your understanding, although I'm not sure I deserve it. Jaheira, I'd like to stay with you a while, if I might."

Jaheira shook her head in exasperation. "Anomen, you don't have to ask! Stop worrying about offending me or imposing on me and let me _help_ you. It's the least I can do."

He smiled at her, and she was happy to note that a glimmer of the old, brash Anomen had returned. "Aye, I can try to do that, Jaheira."

After they lay together for a time, Jaheira felt wetness on the arm that cradled Anomen's head. He was crying silently, finally able to release the grief he had been holding in check all night.

"Oh, Anomen." Jaheira said, reaching to touch his tear-stained face.

"Jaheira, she was beautiful and good, and other than my mother, the one person in my life who truly loved me. Gods! I still miss her."

"I know you do, Anomen, I know you do." She held him as he cried himself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next morning Anomen awoke early, courtesy of a dry mouth and throbbing head. He was disoriented at first, but when he opened his eyes to see Jaheira's room and Jaheira herself sleeping next to him, the events of the previous night came rushing back.

_I should have been gone hours ago! Why didn't she wake me?_ Getting up as quietly as possible, Anomen began to furtively gather his clothes for a quick departure. As he prepared to dress, he glanced over to see if Jaheira was still asleep. She was, and the sight of her curled neatly, almost cat-like, on her side of the bed, made his heart skip a beat. His mind went back to the night before when she had held him and comforted him when he needed it the most.

By Helm, he did not _want_ to leave! He wanted to hold her when she awoke, and kiss her and tell her how much she meant to him… _Then again, perhaps not,_ he thought to himself with a sigh. _But surely it won't do any harm to stay since it's already morning._

Careful not to wake her, Anomen got back into bed. She looked so lovely he considered wrapping his arms around her and kissing her awake. Instead, he lay beside her and watched her sleeping for a time.

_Of course she doesn't snore,_ he chuckled to himself, _she would never permit herself such an **undignified** habit._

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Jaheira awoke to the feel of Anomen's beard against her cheek. It tickled.

"Wha? Anomen?" Anomen grinned and pinned her against the bed, kissing her soundly and thoroughly before releasing her.

"Good morning, my lady."

"What are you doing, assaulting me at this hour of the morning?" She meant to sound angry, but seeing the mischievous look on Anomen's face took the sting out of her voice.

"When I realized I had slept through the night," Anomen replied, "my first thought was to gather my clothes and sneak away before you awoke. But that would have been both pointless and rude, so I decided to stay and wake you up instead. A much more enjoyable choice, if I do say so."

He sobered and looked at her searchingly. "Jaheira, why didn't you wake me last night?"

Jaheira reached up and smoothed his disordered hair affectionately. "I've been thinking about asking you to stay for a while, and last night the time seemed right."

He took her hand. "Any regrets, Jaheira?"

She squeezed his hand and smiled. "No, not a one. What about you?"

"The last three ales I drank last night were definitely not the wisest choice I have ever made…" Anomen began, and then laughed when Jaheira rolled her eyes. "But waking up with you? No, no regrets." He took her in his arms and they lay together for a while in contented silence.

"Anomen," Jaheira began with some hesitation, "I suspect we will be leaving Suldanesselar soon, which means we have some decisions before us. Keeping our relationship a secret was difficult enough here; but it will be virtually impossible once we leave."

"I don't think I _want_ to keep it a secret anymore, Jaheira." Anomen replied. "I suppose it served its purpose at first, but I am very tired of sneaking around and pretending there is nothing between us."

"Then you do not want to end our relationship?" Jaheira asked pointedly.

"End it? By the gods, no! Perhaps I have been remiss in saying so, but I…I care for you Jaheira, and I don't want to lose what we have."

Jaheira gave him a skeptical look. "You care for me but you don't trust me."

"Don't trust you? Jaheira, you know I wasn't sure I could trust you in the beginning, but that was weeks ago! I trust you _now_. Why do you think I don't trust you?"

Jaheira chose not to answer the question directly, but instead asked, "Last night, when you were grieving for your sister, why didn't you turn to someone for help? You know that if you had gone to Dani or Imoen, they would have done their best to comfort you. Even Minsc would have tried to help in his own way. But you decided to drink yourself stupid. Why was that?"

"I didn't even think of going to them for help, though I suppose I knew they would not turn me away. But I didn't want any of them, Jaheira, I wanted _you_. You were the first person I thought of, but…"

"But _what_? I suppose I should give you credit for coming to me eventually, but why did you have to drown yourself in ale before you could trust me to help you when you were in pain?" Her voice softened. "Do you think the time we've spent together means nothing to me? Or that the only reason you matter to me is that you warm my bed?"

"No! No, Jaheira, I don't think that! I thought…I _hoped_ that you care for me as I care for you, but I was afraid." He paused and ran his hand through his hair, undoing Jaheira's earlier efforts. "I was afraid that if I asked you for too much, it…it would push you away."

Jaheira had flash of insight. She asked softly. "Like it pushed Dani away? And your father?" Anomen flushed and looked aside, but did not try to deny it. Jaheira put her arms around Anomen and rested her head on his shoulder. "I won't bother to make excuses for your father—no child should be treated as he treated you. But Anomen, Dani chose Kelsey because she loved him, not because you asked too much of her. You know that even now if you needed her she would help you out of friendship."

"Khalid taught me that when people care for other the give and take must go both ways. I knew Khalid loved me but it still took me a long time to learn that I could trust him, and _should_ trust him to help me when I needed it."

"I am sorry if my fear was barrier between us, Jaheira; that was the last thing I wanted." Anomen smiled. "At least you will be here to tell me when I'm acting like a fool!" He pulled her close. "You will be, won't you?"

Jaheira laughed. "Anomen, if someone had told me a few months ago that someday I'd be lying in your arms and discussing our future together, I would have thought them completely mad. On impulse I seek out one night of passion and look what happens! And yet, these last few weeks my happiest times have been with you. You've made me feel whole again, for the first time since Khalid died. So yes, Anomen, I'll be here."

Anomen started to kiss her again, but she stopped him. "Please, Anomen, hear me out, there is something else I need to say." Jaheira took a deep breath to steady herself and continued. "I do care for you very much, and I want you to be part of my life, but I don't feel ready to be _in _love again, at least not yet. Is it enough for you to have a lover and a partner who is not sure of her heart?"

After she'd had her say, Jaheira saw much to her relief Anomen did not look angry or hurt, but thoughtful.

"I must admit have been very…chary of using that word myself since my last expressions of love were rebuffed. But I know I care for you very much, and that there is no one I would rather be with." Anomen must have seen the expression on Jaheira's face because he caught her eyes before continuing. "Before you ask, no, not even Dani. I yearned for her for a long time, even though she and Kelsey are obviously very happy together. But no longer. You are the one I want to see lying next to me when I awake in the morning. Please believe that."

"However, I think our relationship is still too new and untried for either of us to be comfortable with declarations of undying love. So yes, Jaheira, having you as my lover and my partner is enough for now."

Jaheira touched his cheek affectionately. "Perhaps, then, we can agree to share our lives for a time, and give our hearts a chance to decide the rest. But no more hiding and pretending. I want to get to know you outside this room! And I think that is the only way we will be able to decide where our hearts lie."

Anomen pulled her close. "My lady, I cannot tell you how I have longed to walk with you among the trees, or hold you, or laugh with you, not caring who sees us. Sometimes I thought I would go mad having to pretend there was nothing between us but indifferent friendship." Anomen grinned at her. "Besides, although being your lover is sweet enough, the envy of other men will make it all the sweeter, when they realize that the fair Jaheira is mine. You are mine, aren't you, fair Jaheira?"

"Yes, Anomen, I'm yours." Jaheira said, and kissed him as soundly and thoroughly as he had kissed her earlier.

A short while later, Jaheira looked up at Anomen to see an amused expression on his face. "Anomen, what is it?"

He grinned at her and lay back on the bed, with his hands behind his head. "Just imaging the looks on the faces of the others when we tell them about us. My lady, I think I am going to enjoy this."


	9. Chapter 9

_Ta-da! At last, the long awaited 'reveal' chapter!_

_After all the build up, I must admit I'm a little nervous about posting it. I hope it meets your expectations...it was certainly fun to write._

_Edit: Made some minor changes in response to Domi and Theodur's comments._

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Chapter 9 

Dani noticed that Jaheira seemed very preoccupied at breakfast that day, so she was not surprised when the druid caught her arm on the way out of the room. 

Jaheira said in an undertone, "Could I speak to you in private for a moment?" After Dani waved Kelsey on to return to their room without her, the two women started for the common room to find a place to talk.

Dani was startled by Anomen's deep voice behind her. "Actually, Dani, we _both_ would like to speak to you."

Before she could inquire what they could possibly have to talk to her about together, Dani was surprised into silence by Jaheira's reaction—she laid her hand on Anomen's broad arm, gave him a warm smile, and said, "That's right, Dani, we both do."

Dani sat down heavily in the first chair she could find, and Jaheira and Anomen sat down across from her. Her mind was in a whirl. What could this mean?

Her face must have revealed her bafflement, because Jaheira and Anomen glanced at each other questioningly before Jaheira spoke. "Dani, I know this will come as a surprise to you, but as the leader of this group, as well as a good friend to both of us, we wanted you to be the first to know that Anomen and I have become very…close over the last few weeks."

Dani was so stunned by the implication of Jaheira's statement that it took her a few moments to form the words for a suitable response.

As it was, her voice came out in a very undignified squeak. "Close, as is 'more than just friends' close?"

Anomen's large hand reached over to engulf Jaheira's slim and delicate one. His voice rumbled with a suppressed chuckle as he replied, "Yes, you could say that."

Jaheira snorted. "We are all adults here, there is no reason to mince words. Anomen and I are lovers." She glared at Dani as if daring her to disapprove.

Despite having had a few moments to adjust to this new and completely unexpected reality, Dani couldn't help but stare in bewilderment in response to Jaheira's bald statement. Jaheira and Anomen _lovers_? How could it be? They didn't even _like_ each other! As she watched them, Anomen put his arm around Jaheira and pulled her close, which seemed altogether to Jaheira's liking since she settled herself comfortably against his chest. _I guess they got past **that** problem somehow._ Dani thought, suppressing an urge to giggle.

Questions thronged Dani's mind, and she finally ordered her unruly thoughts enough to exclaim, "How did this happen? _When_ did this happen?"

"How is not important" Jaheira said shortly. Jaheira glanced sidelong at Anomen, who gave her a knowing smile. Jaheira reddened and hurriedly continued, "As for when, well, we have been lovers for some weeks now—since shortly after Irenicus was defeated."

"_Weeks?_" Dani burst out. "You've been lovers for _weeks_ without anyone knowing about it?" By this point, Dani was feeling a little wild-eyed, and she must have looked it too. When she glanced at Anomen, she noticed that his face was rather suffused, as if he was trying valiantly not to laugh out loud. Jaheira followed Dani's gaze and gave Anomen a look that could be best described as 'fond exasperation'."

"That's correct." Jaheira replied. "We had our reasons for keeping our relationship a secret. But the important thing is that we no longer wish it to be a secret."

"So you're going to tell the others?" Dani asked.

"Yes, we'll tell them as the opportunity arises. You are welcome to tell Kelsey yourself, of course."

Feeling she should have some further response, Dani stammered, "I'm really happy for you both." Then, realizing what an inadequate reaction that was to such stupendous news, she collected her wits enough to exclaim, "Oh, this is wonderful! I'm sorry I'm acting like such an idiot, but I'm just so _surprised_!"

"So we gathered." Jaheira replied dryly.

Unable to contain her excitement, Dani hugged each of her friends in turn. When she embraced Anomen, he murmured, "This would not have been possible without you." She looked in his eyes she saw in them the happiness and contentment that she had almost despaired of seeing after he had learned that she loved Kelsey. Dani blinked back tears.

Dani decided she'd better leave before she lost control of her emotions entirely. She said briskly, "Well, I'd better go. I've got a meeting with Queen Ellesime later. What are you…?"

"We'll stay here a while longer, I think." Jaheira replied, leaving the still slightly stunned Dani to make her way to her room to impart the morning's startling news to Kelsey.

* * *

Danira entered the room she shared with Kelsey and silently sat down on the couch next to him. She had an expression on her face that he had never seen before, one which seemed to be composed of equal parts surprise, bewilderment, and amusement.

"Hey Dani, what's up? If you don't mind me saying so, you look a little dazed. Did Jahiera have new information about what the other Bhaalspawn are doing in Tethyr?"

Dani's giggle in response to Kelsey's question had a slightly hysterical edge to it. "No, she wanted to talk to me about something entirely different. Kelsey…" She began, and then fell silent. She started to speak again, and again words failed her. Finally, she managed to get her words out. "Kelsey, I was just told the most surprising thing I have heard in my entire life."

"Well, it has to be pretty stupendous to have somehow rendered _you_ speechless, even temporarily." Kelsey responded. "What is it?"

Dani glared at Kelsey. "I'm serious, Kelsey, this is big—huge! This even beats out Gorion's "Ooops, forgot to tell you that you're a Child of Bhaal" letter."

"Honey, you know that I love you, but I'm going to have to do something drastic if you don't tell me what you're talking about!"

Danira took a deep breath. "Okay, listen to this. Jaheira and Anomen just sat me down and told me that they are lovers. That they have _been_ lovers for weeks. Weeks!"

"What? Anomen and Jaheira? No!" Kelsey's expression changed from surprise to one of great skepticism. "Oh, I see what's going on here. You must think I'm really gullible to fall for one of you and Imoen's jokes again. So what is it this time, 'convince Kelsey that a crazy story about Jaheira and Anomen is true, so he'll look like a jackass when it's not?' Nope, uh-uh, not gonna fall for it. The last time you pulled something like this, I had to hide from Jaheira for a week!"

"Kelsey, it's true! I promise! I'll swear on whatever you like, I promise it's true. I was just as surprised as you are; I wouldn't have believed it either if they hadn't sat in front of me, _holding hands_, mind you, and told me that they are lovers."

"Assuming that I accept _for now_ that you're telling me the truth," Kelsey responded as Dani rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You are saying that Jaheira, who is still grieving her dead husband and treats all other men like they are 5 years old and feeble-minded, and Anomen 'Who cares what those old farts in the Order say!' Delryn told you they have been having a secret love affair for weeks."

"Yes!"

"Well, maybe they're the ones who are playing a practical joke. You said yourself that Anomen has developed a sense of humor in the last few months."

"If had just been Anomen telling me something like this, or Anomen and Imoen, that might have been my first guess, too. At one point, it _did_ seem that Anomen was trying pretty hard to keep from laughing, but I think that was because I must have gaped like a hooked fish when they told me." She winced slightly at the memory. "But we're talking about Jaheira here, Kelsey. _Jaheira_. Can you honestly say you think she'd participate in a practical joke where she had to pretend to be Anomen's lover?"

"Is that any less likely than believing that she actually _is_ Anomen's lover and has been for weeks?" Kelsey retorted.

"Fine, be that way. If you don't believe me, go down to the common room, they're probably still down there together. They said they didn't want their relationship to be a secret anymore, and they were looking pretty cozy when I left. You know, Kelsey, that was one of the things that convinced me it was true. They weren't all over each other or acting icky sweet 'in love', but they were really comfortable together, and acted like they respected each other, and well, _liked_ each other. To be honest, it was kind of sweet. I don't think they could have faked that."

"So they seem happy together?" At Dani's nod, a slow smile spread over Kelsey's face. "Who would have guessed? Well, good for them." Then his curiosity won out over his surprise and he asked. "So did they say when they got together, or how they got together?"

"I guess they got together soon after we defeated Irenicus." She shook her head. "I still can't believe this has been going on for weeks without any of us knowing. As for how they got together, they were pretty vague about that. Jaheira blushed a lot when the subject came up."

Kelsey struggled briefly with a mental picture of Jaheira blushing, and then laughed. "Well, I'm certainly never going to question your matchmaking instincts again!"

Dani looked at him in puzzlement. "Why do you say that? I never dreamt that Anomen and Jaheira would fall for each other."

"I know." Kelsey responded, "But you _did_ say that Anomen wanted a woman who would stand up to him, and with Jaheira, he certainly got that!" Kelsey grinned. "Maybe we should find Valygar so we can introduce Imoen to him."

Dani returned his grin. "Maybe we should." Abruptly, her eyes went wide. "Kelsey, Kelsey! Do you remember that time, shortly after we got here, when Jaheira was in a really terrible mood for a few days, snapping at everyone for no reason?"

"Sure, I remember it. I wanted to have meals sent to our room and you wouldn't agree to it."

"It was right after Anomen first introduced us to Elenelle." Dani continued.

"Yes, that's right, what about it?"

"I thought Jaheira was being particularly hard on Anomen—I even had a talk with her about it and asked her to be nicer to him. I _knew_ there was more to that than it seemed!" Dani concluded triumphantly.

"So, you think there's a connection?" Kelsey asked. Before Dani could answer, the door to their suite banged open and Imoen swept in, her eyes wide.

"Imoen, you _could_ knock, you know…" Dani began, but Imoen waved away her protest.

"Oh shush, sis, that's not important. Guys, I was just down in the common room and you would not _believe_ what I saw…"

* * *

Jaheira looked at Anomen and shook her head, her expression a mixture of amusement and irritation. "I had no idea you had such juvenile sense of humor, Anomen." Anomen was convulsed with laughter, and her comment made him laugh all the harder. He had been laughing ever since Imoen had run out of the room a few minutes earlier.

Finally, he composed himself enough to speak. "But Jaheira, the look on her face was even better than Dani's!"

Jaheira had to admit that it was a rather amusing sight. Imoen had walked halfway across the room before noticing that she and Anomen were sitting close together, with his arm draped casually around her shoulders. When Imoen did notice, she stopped and stared for a few moments, eyes wide and mouth agape, before turning and bolting from the room as if pursued by demons.

Jaheira arched an eyebrow at Anomen. "I'm beginning to wonder if shocking our friends was the real reason you wanted reveal our relationship!"

Anomen grinned at her, eyes alight. "Nay, my lady, the real reason was that now I can do this," he pulled Jaheira close and kissed her eagerly, "without caring who might see us. But shocking our friends is an amusing bonus."

Their conversation soon moved onto other topics, and they were still sitting together, with Anomen's arms around her waist, when Minsc came up and sat nearby. It took them a minute to realize they were _not_ seeing something they had expected; Minsc didn't look the least bit startled to see them together.

Instead, Minsc said conspiratorially, "Oooh, so I see that the secret is a secret no longer!"

Anomen looked surprised and slightly disappointed, and Jaheira replied, "And I see you have spoken to Dani or Imoen."

Now it was Minsc's turn to seem surprised. "Nooo, I have not seen them since this morning. Why do you ask?"

"You…you _knew_ about us? How?" Anomen asked in astonishment.

"Oh yes. Boo told me." Minsc replied calmly.

"Boo?"

"Yes, Boo. Boo's eyes may be small and beady, but they are veerrry sharp. The others see what they expect to see, while Boo sees what really _is_."

"But…but you didn't _say_ anything about it!" Anomen exclaimed.

"You did not tell anyone, so Minsc knew you wanted it to be a secret."

Jaheira and Anomen were still recovering from this startling piece of information when Minsc continued, "Oh, Boo told me to tell you that you may not trust your hearts just yet, but you will soon".

Minsc must have recognized the incredulous looks on their faces, because he added, "You should not doubt Boo! Miniature giant space hamsters _know_ about love!"

Jaheira glanced at Anomen and began to laugh. He had reddened and struggled to speak, his face a picture of mingled shock, embarrassment, and outrage.

"Oh, Anomen, you should see _your_ face now!"


	10. Epilogue

_Well, this is it, the very last chapter. It feels good to have it done, though I'm going to miss these two characters. _

_Originally, the story ended after Chapter 9, but since there were some important things they didn't say and do in that chapter, I thought it would make a better resolution to give a hint of where I think their lives are headed. _

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

Epilogue: Crazy Faith

One night some weeks later… 

"Oh, I wish we knew exactly what we will be facing, then we could be _properly_ prepared." Jaheira exclaimed for the third time. It was the night before their battle with Melissan—the final battle—and Jaheira and Dani were having a last minute discussion of tactics.

"Jaheira, believe me, I know you like to be 'properly prepared'." Dani said patiently. "But the problem is that we _don't_ know what Melissan will throw at us, and we have no way to find out. Since she will have much of Bhaal's power at her disposal, we can probably expect demons, but Anomen certainly knows how to prepare for them. Other than that, we can only ready ourselves as we would for any battle with a very powerful spellcaster. The gods know we've had enough of them lately." Dani said wearily. "You, Anomen and Imoen know what spells to memorize. As for Kelsey," Dani smiled, "he'll do his own thing, as usual. We're as ready as we can be."

"How is Kelsey?" Jaheira asked quietly.

"Oh, when he thinks I'm not watching he gets this horrible stricken look on his face. When he knows I _am_ watching, he replaces the stricken look with a ghastly grin that's supposed to be comforting." She sighed. "He's scared he's going to lose me, and I'd like nothing more than to assure him that he won't. But I can't, because I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, or what choices, if any, I'll have." Dani said bleakly.

Jaheira put an arm around her. "Dani, you know we will all be there for you tomorrow, and there for Kelsey afterward, if need be."

Dani returned the hug. "I know, Jaheira, and that helps. I would hate to face this alone."

Dani noticed that Jaheira's eyes had drifted toward the spot where Anomen was arranging their bedrolls for the night. He must have felt her gaze, because he looked up, smiled, and winked at his lover.

To Dani's surprise, rather than smiling in return, Jaheira heaved a sigh and looked away.

Dani considered her speculatively for a moment. Finally, she turned to Jaheira and said. "There is one important thing you _could_ do for me before tomorrow, Jaheira."

Startled out of her thoughts, Jaheira replied, "Oh, of course, Dani, whatever you need."

"Talk to Anomen, Jaheira, and tell him you love him." At Jaheira's surprised look, she continued. "You _haven't_ told him, have you?"

Jaheira looked chagrined and sighed again. "No, I've thought of it many times, but never quite got up the nerve to do so."

Dani caught Jaheira's eyes. "So what's the problem? Are you unsure of your heart, or his?"

"Neither…both, oh, I don't know! I…I care about him so much, but I don't love him the same way I loved Khalid."

Dani gazed at her, a concerned expression on her face. "That _is_ a problem. After all, Anomen is so much _like_ Khalid."

"What are you talking about?" Jaheira asked sharply. "Anomen is nothing at all like Khalid! Khalid was gentle and even-tempered and dependable, whereas I never know from one day to the next what Anomen will do, except that I know that it is sure to be aggravating. And yet, he is so dear to me, and I find I do not want to imagine a future without him in my life…" She would have continued, but she noticed a small smile creeping over Dani's face.

She looked at Dani for a long moment and flushed. "Ah. Therefore, I should not expect to love Anomen in the same way I loved Khalid." Jaheira gave Dani a wry smile. "You are very annoying when you are right."

Dani laughed. "I learned from a master. So…unless you're going to claim that you don't love him, which, by the way, I won't believe for a moment, that leaves us with the same question: why _haven't_ you told him?"

Jaheira glanced over toward Anomen, her face softening when she saw that he was sitting quietly, eyes closed, deep in his evening prayers. Her eyes glinted with tears and she asked quietly, "What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

Dani rolled her eyes. "Jaheira, I've _seen_ the way he looks at you, the way he lights up whenever you're around. Even with everything that is going on, he is happier now than any time since I've known him. And if _you_ haven't noticed, I think you're the only one—Imoen was just mentioning the other day how much he has changed since they met in Spellhold."

She put an arm around Jaheira and regarded her thoughtfully. "Besides, though you were _extremely_ vague on the details, didn't you tell me that early on in your relationship you hurt him rather badly and that he took a chance by trusting you again? Perhaps it is time for you to return the favor by taking a chance and telling him your feelings."

"Please, Jaheira—whatever happens tomorrow, I want my friends to have at least a _chance_ for happiness. Promise me you'll talk to him. I don't think you'll regret it if you do, and I know you _will_ regret it if you don't speak and something happens to either of you tomorrow."

Jaheira paled. "Dani, you do not fight fair."

Dani smiled. "I learned that from a master, too."

Jaheira squared her shoulders. "All right, Dani, I promise. I will speak to him tonight."

Dani hugged Jaheira and kissed her cheek. "Good. Now, since we both have someone eagerly awaiting us…"

* * *

The pocket plane quieted as the group settled in for the night. The mood was tense and expectant, with only the soft murmur of voices breaking the silence. 

In the corner of the garden room that Jaheira and Anomen had claimed for themselves, Anomen had finished his prayers and noticed that Jaheira was distractedly reorganizing her pack for what he was certain was the fourth time. He slipped behind her and put his arms around her. "You are very quiet tonight, my lady. Are you concerned about tomorrow's battle?"

"No…well, yes, of course I'm concerned! Tomorrow we face Melissan and there's no guarantee any of us will live through it. And even if the rest of us survive, what will it cost Dani? What will become of her?"

Anomen held her tighter and replied. "I know, Jaheira. It is humbling indeed when the gods themselves are at a loss to predict what lies ahead of us. But at least we will be there to help her face whatever comes."

Jaheira turned to face him. "Actually, Anomen," she began hesitantly, " I wanted to talk to you about another matter. If…if we both survive tomorrow's battle, we will need to decide what comes next for us. But first, there is something I must tell you."

"What is it, Jaheira? Is something wrong?" Anomen asked, concern in his voice.

"No, no, Anomen. Nothing is _wrong_." Jaheira waved impatiently. "Oh, just let me have my say!"

Anomen arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Of course, my lady, pray continue!"

Jaheira took a deep breath to steady herself, and looked him in the eyes. "Before we face tomorrow, and whatever awaits us afterward, I need you to know that…that I love you, Anomen."

"Oh." Anomen responded calmly. "Good." He leaned down to kiss Jaheira, but she pushed him away.

"Good?" Jaheira exclaimed. "I open my heart to you and all you can say is _good_?"

Anomen looked at her quizzically. "Thank you?"

"Anomen!" Jaheira cried in exasperation.

Anomen grinned and embraced her tightly. "Jaheira, my dear, would you prefer that I name the exact day and hour that I realized how much I love you?"

"Yes, that would be nice, Jaheira replied, a little crossly. By this time, she knew from the look in his eyes that he had been teasing her, and as was the case all too often, she had taken the bait.

Anomen laughed and held her close. "I am sorry, my lady, I should not have teased you so. It's just that you looked so worried, as if you doubted your place in my heart." He shook his head in wonderment. "That is one thing you need never do."

"Now what was I saying?" Anomen continued. "Ah, yes, when I realized that I loved you. Do you remember the night I came to your room drunken and morose because I was missing Moira? How I stayed with you through the night for the first time?" Anomen continued.

"Of course I remember." Jaheira replied. "It was the next morning when we decided to tell the others about us."

"Aye, that morning. I awoke next to you and watched you sleep for a time. You were so beautiful that it made my heart ache. As I watched you, I remembered that the night before in my drunken state, you were the _one_ person I wanted to see, the _one_ person I wanted to go to in my grief. I remembered too how you didn't hesitate to take me in, take care of me, and comfort me."

"Oh, Anomen, nothing I did was so remarkable! I would have done same for any friend in need." Anomen gave her an inquiring look. Jaheira recalled some of the events of that evening and reddened. "Well, not _all_ of it, of course. Still..."

Anomen kissed her hand. "Remarkable or not, that was when I realized that you had stolen my heart," He caught her gaze and gave her a look of such surpassing tenderness that all her doubts fled, "my lady...my love." This time, when he leaned close to Jaheira for to kiss her, she did not push him away.

When Anomen released her, Jaheira leaned against his chest with a sigh of contentment. "Anomen, once again you have managed to infuriate me, make me laugh, and astonish me with your tenderness, all within a few minutes time. I still don't know what possessed me to proposition you that first night, but with every day that passes I am more grateful that I did so." She reached up and gently touched his cheek. "I do love you so."

Jaheira pulled away from him a little and looked him in the eyes. "But Anomen, that was so long ago—why didn't you _say_ something?"

"You said yourself that you weren't ready for it. I didn't want you to feel that you had to declare something you were not comfortable saying of your own accord."

"Didn't it bother you that I hadn't told you that I loved you?" Jaheira asked curiously.

"A little, at first. Then I realized that in all the ways that mattered, you _were_ telling me every day that you loved me, even if you hadn't said the words. Would you have treated me any differently these last few weeks and months if you _had_ told me that you loved me?"

Jaheira looked at him thoughtfully. "Well, no, but Anomen..."

"But…it _does_ make me very happy to finally have you say the words I'd hoped to hear someday. _Very_ happy." He embraced her and leaned down as if to kiss her again, but instead lifted her off her feet, spun around with her in his arms and cried loudly. "I love you, Jaheira!"

A surprised hush fell, and after a moment, Imoen's voice broke the silence, "Sheesh, tell us something we _don't_ know!" as laughter filled the pocket plane.

Jaheira, suppressing her own urge to laugh only with the greatest difficulty, twisted in Anomen's embrace and whacked his arm in protest. "Anomen, you great idiot, you are making a spectacle of us! Let me go!"

Anomen grinned and released her, not the least bit contrite. "I think the others are past being astonished by anything we say or do, Jaheira. Besides, I'd say they are happy for us."

Jaheira gave him her most repressing look, which as usual had little effect. "You are being very frivolous, Anomen. Even if we both survive tomorrow's battle, we have some very important decisions to make—where to live, what to do—_if_, after this is over, Dani no longer needs us. I have long thought I'd like to find a grove of my own someday, and of course there's my work with the Harpers...Silvanus knows what they will think of you." She gave Anomen an appraising look and continued. "On second thought, I'm afraid I have all too good a notion of what they'll think of you."

Anomen pulled Jaheira close. "Jaheira, my love, it is absolutely necessary that we make all of those decisions _tonight_? As a matter of fact, I have also made some plans for us this evening, but there was very little decision-making or even talking involved." Jaheira rolled her eyes and Anomen grinned. "However, if it will ease your orderly mind, I will say that although I had never envisioned living in a druid grove, I will live there happily if you are there. I'm sure the Church or even Helm himself can find duties for me wherever we are."

"As for the Harpers, well, ever since your experience with that Athkatla group, I've thought they needed someone to insure that they don't take themselves quite so seriously. I think I will be _good_ for them."

Jaheira snorted in amusement. "Somehow, I doubt they'll agree." She gazed up at him lovingly. "Although you've certainly been good for _me_. Anomen..." she began a little uncertainly, "Did you mean what you said about being happy wherever I choose to call home?"

She expected a teasing reply from him, but instead, he kissed her brow and with no hint of mockery, replied simply, "Jaheira, wherever you are _is_ my home."

Jaheira threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close, and Anomen happily returned the embrace. She murmured in his ear, "I believe you said something about a plan for tonight?"

Anomen's face lit up. "Yes, indeed, my lady, I did, and I am most eager to tell you all about it. As luck would have it, I believe I have found the perfect spot in which to do so!" Anomen chuckled as he led her toward their bedrolls.

Anomen had arranged their bedding in a place that was partially concealed by some plants and rock formations, affording them with at least some privacy. Soon they were undressed and lying comfortably in each other's arms.

Jaheira looked up at Anomen and laughed. "I must be in love with you, for even though by now I've spent many nights in your arms, it makes me very happy to think that I could have many more like this."

"Like this?" Anomen asked intently, and drew her to him for a lingering kiss. "My lady, my nights—and days—are yours as long as the gods grant me breath."

"That will do." Jaheira smiled, and returned the kiss with enthusiasm.

THE END

_**Crazy Faith**  
by Mark Simos_

_I lit my love and watched it burn  
Asking nothing in return  
Except the lessons I will learn  
By holding crazy faith_

_I've been touched by that bright fire  
Down to the root of my desire  
While the smoke it rises higher  
On crazy faith_

_You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know  
But my faith says so, it tells me_

_Am I a fool for hanging on?  
Would I be a fool to be long gone?  
When is daylight going to dawn  
On my crazy faith?_

_The questions will not let me sleep  
Answers buried way too deep  
At the bottom of a lover's leap  
Made by crazy faith  
_

_You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know, but my faith says so  
It tells me_

_Love your losing, lose your love  
Let the hawk fly from the glove  
Then do not search the skies above  
Search your crazy faith_

_Love is lightning, love is ice  
It only strikes the lucky twice  
Once, so you will know the price  
And once for crazy faith_

_You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know,  
But my faith says so_


End file.
